Singapore: No Sir, I Wasn't Chewing Gum

January 19, 2011

Singapore is a city that for some reason is also a country. Seriously. Like, the place is smaller than Houston, and it’s a goddamn country? Where do they get off, pulling that shit?

Although–if Houston were to secede from the US and become its own country, who’d miss it, really? Right? It’s not like anyone ever goes there. Their sports team kinda suck, anyway. It’s just Halliburton and a bunch of strip malls.

Let’s get on this. If you know anybody in Houston, please ask them to secede from the union immediately. Or maybe write your Congressperson and have them kick Houston out of the country. Stupid Houston. Who needs it?

So here are a few facts about Singapore:

• Chewing gum is illegal and is punishable by caning.
• Spitting is illegal and is punishable by caning.
• Caning is illegal and is punishable by caning.

Written by disalmanac Posted in This Ever-Changing World In Which We Live In