West Virginia: Urgh, Another State?
West Virginia is coal country. The state animal is coal. The state bird is coal. The governor is a bag of coal. The state song is “Workin’ in a Coal Mine,” except they’ve changed every word in the song to “coal,” so it now goes: “Coal coal coal coal coal coal, coal coal coal coal, coal coal coal coal coal coal, WHOO! Coal coal coal coal coal coal.”
The whole fucking state is nothing but fucking coal. And as West Virginians say, “Coal coal coal, coal coal coal coal.”
If I were from West Virginia, as opposed to just being born there (no, really, there’s a difference), I’d be totally offended by this.
And by offended, I mean “amused”.
Here in Kentucky we say: “Horse! Coal Coal Coal! Bourbon Horse, Basketball.”