Edmonton: Almost Like A City

For some reason, Edmonton is a city. Like, people live there and there are roads and sewers and everything, even though it’s pretty much forty degrees below zero all year round. It boggles the mind.

Apparently, Edmonton started as an outpost for fur traders…? Sure. But why trade fur? Because the pioneers had a complicated, Pokemon-style game they would play for days at a time called “Give Me All Your Damn Pelts Or I’ll Stab You In The Eye With This Crude Knife I Made Out Of A Chunk Of Obsidian.” Hours of fun for the one-eyed kids!

Today, Edmonton is home to a mall. It’s a pretty big mall. Mall!

The general Edmonton metropolitan area has approximately one million residents who apparently don’t know about other, warmer cities with actual Pokemon cards and competent eye surgeons. Who’s going to tell them?

3 comments

  1. W.F. Roby

    Sadly, this is kind of how my public school geography education went. Curse you rich Connecticut bastards learning about places and other things and stuff! What good is this 92nd percentile TAAS test score in the real world? Answer me that, punks.

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