Yeah, not so funny, as it turned out, because it led directly to that horrible 1988 Tom Cruise movie “Cocktail.” America still hasn’t fully recovered from this national nightmare because, come on, a bar called “Cocktails & Dreams?” Barf.
Of course, by then Reagan was already all Alzheimer’s-y and thought Tom Cruise was his long-lost monkey friend, Bonzo. Reagan ordered Cruise to move into the Lincoln Bedroom, and forced him to go to bed every night at 8PM. Cruise wanted to stay up later so he could watch “The Cosby Show” and “A Different World,” but the president stood firm and refused.
Even today, conservatives admire Reagan for his steadfastness on the important national security issue of Tom Cruise’s bedtime. GOP pundits point out that under President Obama, Tom Cruise has been allowed to stay up until 10 or 10:30 sometimes (on school nights!), and hardly ever wears the Bonzo monkey suit anymore.