If the president should die, become incapacitated or get way too into Red Dead Redemption, this is the order of succession for the presidency. If the first one on the list is unable to assume the presidency, the next one is tapped, and so on down the line.
- The vice president.
- The Speaker of the House.
- The mayor of that one Starbucks in downtown Akron on Foursquare.
- Any defense industry lobbyist who happens to be hanging around that day.
- Your 12th grade English teacher.
- Lady Gaga.
- Anyone named “Doozer.”