The Truth About Finland

Finland is located between Sweden and Russia, though it’s thinking of moving somewhere warmer, or doing a swap with Greece for awhile. Maybe during the off-season, when there are fewer tourists.

Here are some important things you should know about Finland:

  • The name “Finland” is derived from the fact that the people all have fins instead of hands. They’re fish people! Auuughh!!
  • But: they produce delicious cod roe. Even the men!
  • Finland’s three major industries are manufacturing realistic-looking fake hands to cover their disconcerting fin-hands, swimming around aimlessly all day, and breathing through their freakish neck-gills.
  • Finland is a wonderful country to visit, unless you are plankton, or a worm at the end of a fishing hook.
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