Your kidneys turn the liquids you drink into urine. No, seriously. Like, you probably have urine in your body right now. Ewwwww!
Since most people spend a minimum of seven hours a day urinating, you can save a lot of time by simply having your kidneys removed.
The process is simple and affordable. To get your kidneys removed, simply check into any hotel, fill the bath tub with ice, climb in, and go to sleep. When you wake up, your kidneys will be gone! Thanks, Kidney Fairy!
Now you’ll be free to enjoy your new, kidney-free lifestyle. Spend that seven hours a day you would have been urinating engaged in more productive activities, like watching that “American Chopper” marathon on the Discovery Channel, or whatever it is that you do. We don’t know; we’re not you.