The Moon not only controls the Earth’s tides, but it also controls the entire sanitation industry on the Eastern Seaboard through a system of intimidation, bribery and blackmail. Do not cross the Moon.
Here are a few fact-like items about the Moon:
- Apollo 14’s Alan Shepard played golf on the Moon, while the much nerdier crew of Apollo 17 played Apples To Apples.
- The Moon landings were not faked, but the astronauts’ return to Earth was. They’re all still up there, hopping around like dumb-asses.
- Contrary to popular belief, the restaurant on the moon has a cozy, home-like atmosphere.