The Moon: The Most Lazily-Named Thing In The Solar System

The Moon not only controls the Earth’s tides, but it also controls the entire sanitation industry on the Eastern Seaboard through a system of intimidation, bribery and blackmail. Do not cross the Moon.

Here are a few fact-like items about the Moon:

  • Apollo 14’s Alan Shepard played golf on the Moon, while the much nerdier crew of Apollo 17 played Apples To Apples.
  • The Moon landings were not faked, but the astronauts’ return to Earth was. They’re all still up there, hopping around like dumb-asses.
  • Contrary to popular belief, the restaurant on the moon has a cozy, home-like atmosphere.
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