Lithuania: It’s Over In Europe, We Think

Lithuania is located on the Baltic Sea. Not only that, it’s also located on Baltic Avenue, so the rent is only $4. Unless, of course, your stupid big brother puts a motel on it. But what kind of asshole puts motels on freaking Baltic and Mediterranean?  I mean, geez, I just passed Go, for crying out loud. Give me a break until at least Reading Railroad, right? Because I’ve already had to mortgage all the green properties just to pay rent on Boardwalk. God, I hate this game.

And so here are a few facts about Lithuania:

  • The man in the photo is the king of Lithuania. He travels in a super-cool old car with three hot chicks, helping young men score with women who are way, way out of their league.
  • Lithuania is also located next to Poland, and has to take the overflow when too many people tell Polish jokes at once. For example: Q. How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Lithuania!
  • Lithuania’s major industry is facial hair.
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