Yes, chipmunks look cute and huggable, but don’t let that fool you. Chipmunks are actually killer robots from the future!
Chipmunks cross the Trans-Time Dimensional Bridge in their powerful time choppers, creating ripples in space-time that lead to bizarre anomalies such as adding an extra leap-second at the end of the year, and Ann Coulter.
Why have chipmunks come to our time to wage their terrifying war of chaos and doom? They’re after our acorns, bread crumbs and bits of Chee-Tos, which they are storing away for the long, long nuclear winter that sets in after the Pan-Galactic War of the year 3971.
Chipmunks come with a wide array of built-in high-tech weapons, including the dreaded Neutron Cannon and 500,000-volt tasers that shoot out of those adorable little ears of theirs.
So if a chipmunk wants your corn nut, by all means give it to him. If you ever hear a chipmunk say, “Ah’ll be bock,” run.