Portugal’s been telling the same old stories from that summer they followed the Grateful Dead in a VW van for 25 years now, and we are totally sick of hearing about it. Have you done nothing else that was interesting since 1986? Jesus, Portugal, give it a rest.
Here are a few facts about the nation of Portugal:
- How many times now has Portugal told us that story about how they needed a miracle in Cleveland, and actually got one? Like, a million?
- And how about that time Portugal dropped acid during “Dark Star” in Detroit and came to during “Dark Star” in Denver? Haven’t you had enough of that story? I have.
- One thing’s for sure: Portugal didn’t shower much during the Dead’s ’86 tour, and that still holds up today. Someone get Portugal some Dr. Bronner’s, pronto.