Eyebrows: What Are They Even For?

Most people think the eyebrow is made up of short hairs. Most people are wrong.

In fact, eyebrows are an elaborate antennae network made of um…wait, what do you call those little thin wires for like, high speed Internet and shit? Dammit, I’m totally blanking here. Digital something? Crystal something. Crystal meth? No, that’s that other stuff. But did you see that episode of “Intervention” where that lady was addicted to meth? One of her teeth fell out, and she shoved it back in? Dude. That was NUTS.

Here are a few more interesting facts about eyebrows:

  • No, seriously, what are those little wires called? They buried them all over the country back in the ’90s.
  • No, not cable! This stuff is even thinner, and it can carry like, high speed internet and phone and cable TV and stuff. Like, optical something.
  • Wait, that’s it! Optical fiber! No, that’s not it. Well, something like that. And that’s your eyebrows are made of.

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