Atlanta: It Exists And Stuff

Atlanta is a large city somewhere in the South–we want to say Georgia, but maybe South Carolina, or Alabama? No one’s really sure.

Here are some somewhat important facts about Atlanta:

  • During the Civil War, Atlanta was burned to the ground. It was eventually rebuilt, but burned to the ground again for the filming of “Gone With The Wind.” It was again rebuilt, but burned down once again during a particularly awesome Freaknik celebration.
  • Due to a clerical error, Atlanta hosted the 1996 Summer Olympics. The games were supposed to be held in Paris, which would have made a lot more sense, because, I mean, Atlanta? Really?
  • Atlanta is a big sports town: it’s home to the NFL’s Falcons, the NBA’s Hawks, the NHL’s Thrashers, and several other teams that will never, ever win anything. Ever.
  • Well, OK, yes, the Atlanta Braves have won a few World Series, but that’s negated by that awful “Tomahawk Chop” nonsense. Seriously, that was some embarrassing shit.

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