Ecuador: Yet Another Nation Somewhere

The South American nation of Ecuador is named for the Equator, which runs right through it. Many South American nations are named for things that run through them: Colombia (Spanish for “Power Lines”), Brazil (Portuguese for “Old, Creepy-Ass Dirt Road”) and Chile (Spanish for “A General Sense Of Dread And Ennui”).

Here are a few facts about Ecuador. Write them down and keep them in your wallet at all times:

  • Ecuador’s capital is Quito, which is also the name of the Mark brother no one talks about. Well, him and Zeppo. And Gummo. And Wojo.
  • The tourism slogan for Ecuador is “Ecuador: We’re That Country Right Next To The One Where They Filmed ‘Romancing The Stone.’ You Remember ‘Romancing The Stone,’ Right? With Michael Douglas? And Kathleen Turner? No? Well. Screw You, Then.”
  • Ecuador doesn’t have a national anthem, because the only thing that rhymes with “Ecuador” is “Schmecuador.”

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