Aristotle: A Guy

Aristotle was an ancient Greek philosopher, physicist, poet, scientist, chef, playwright, chicken wrangler, bull inseminator, celebrity apprentice, tap dancer, night shift manager at Taco Bell, and occasional table.

Here are a few important facts about Aristotle:

  • Among his many contributions to Western civilization, he introduced the idea of formal logic–though it would be centuries before the tuxedo was developed. He also helped develop the scientific method by inventing both the pocket protector and those thick nerd glasses.
  • One of the smartest men in history, Aristotle invented a rudimentary time machine so he could play on Jeopardy. He was leading, but sadly, he lost the Final Jeopardy question. The category was Weather. The answer was, “This is what causes thunder and lightning,” and Aristotle wrote down, “What is the power and might of the great, almighty Zeus?”
  • Today, many of Aristotle’s works have been lost, including such important intellectual works as “Saved By The Bell,” “Saved By The Bell: The College Years,” and “Saved By The Bell: The New Class.”
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