Wow, Uzbekistan. What a country! In Soviet Russia, you wait in line to buy bread. In Uzbekistan, there is no bread! What a country! In Soviet Russia, the secret police spy on you. In Uzbelistan, the secret police kill you! What a country! Please. Send help.
Here are a few facts about Uzbekistan, which, you know, what a country:
- Uzbekistan’s major export is dirt. Dirt is also the national dish. They have a lot of dirt, is what we’re saying.
- 99.9% of the people of Uzbekistan would like to move anywhere else in the world, while the other 0.1% is the Almighty Dictator For Life, who likes it just fine and gets to eat the fancy, gourmet dirt.
- Still: what a country. Eeeeeesh.