Well, we found out the hard way that Rhode Island isn’t really an island. There were no grass skirts, no leis or luaus, and no giant rum drinks with fruit and little umbrellas served in coconut shells. What the hell, Rhode Island?
Here are a few facts about the state of Rhode Island:
- Also? There were no beautiful black sand beaches. Or palm trees. There was one Jimmy Buffet song, but that was playing at the T.G.I.McGillicuddy’s in Providence where we had dinner one night.
- Plus, we went in December, and it was WAY too cold to surf.
- We’re on to you, Rhode Island. We’re reporting you to the Better Business Bureau, and we’re considering taking legal action so that no one else falls for this “island” crap you’re trying to pull on us.