Belgium: Nation-Like

When one thinks of Belgium, one thinks of waffles, because: yum! Belgian waffles are loved the world over. But, there’s a downside: Belgians use waffles not just as a food, but as a building material. Roads are paved with waffles; buildings and homes are constructed entirely of these treats. While that may sound quaint and delightful, all these sweet, sticky waffles attract flies, ants, and rats from as far away as Kazakhstan. With easy access to all the waffles they can eat, houseflies grow to the size of SmartCars, with rats the size of a Chinatown bus bound for Boston.

Here are some more facts about Belgium:

  • Every year, giant houseflies carry off over 50% of all Belgian children and housepets.
  • The giant ants of Belgium are becoming a problem for the entire continent of Europe, with Austria now basically one giant ant hill.
  • Belgium’s giant rats, however, have been a boon to Europe. Giant rats are a green alternative to passenger trains and automobiles. These days, up to 150 people clamber onto the back of a giant rat to travel to Paris, Munich and other European destinations. Of course, many of them arrive covered with fleas the size of a pair of Air Jordans, which often carry the Plague. But, Europe’s carbon footprint is getting smaller as its population also gets smaller.

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