Joan of Arc: A Famous Person From A Long Time Ago

Joan of Arc was just 19 when she took over France’s troops during the 100 Year War. Apparently, the French said, “You know who’s probably a military genius? That 19-year-old farm girl who can’t read or write.” And this is why the French military is so feared and respected today.

Here are some facts about Joan of Arc. They may be on the midterm, so you might want to take notes:

  • Joan was burned at the stake for claiming to be the daughter of God. Yet today, no one celebrates “Joanmas” or holds up really inappropriate “Joan Hates Fags” signs at military funerals. We bet Joan is really, really jealous of her brother Jesus.
  • Based on the example of Joan of Arc, the US military briefly put all its forces under the command of Tiff, an 18-year-old from Van Nuys, CA, in 1982. Her first order was: “Like, oh my God, look at these uniforms. Gag me with a spoon. I’m going to Nordstrom.”
  • The 100 Year War actually lasted 117 years, because England and France were tied after regulation.

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