Charlotte is probably a bustling city, and we want to say it’s in the South somewhere. We knew a girl named Charlotte. It was years ago, but it still hurts like it was only yesterday. We thought it was the real thing, but Charlotte dumped us for an investment banker with a Jaguar. Is that what you wanted, Charlotte? A Jaguar? We would have gotten you a Jaguar, Charlotte. We’d have given you anything.
Here are a few facts about the city of Charlotte:
- Charlotte’s chief industry is that cute little dimple in her cheek when she laughs like a creek on a sunny spring day.
- We hear Charlotte’s married now, to a Microsoft millionaire out in Seattle. We thought you hated the outdoors, Charlotte, but your Facebook page has all these photos of you hiking and camping, though we certainly don’t stay up all night looking at your Facebook page and sobbing, because that would be pathetic, right? Ha! We’re fine. Really.
- Why, Charlotte, why?