Tennessee: It Looks Like A State, If You Squint

Oh, we all like to pretend that Tennessee is a real state, with Senators and a capital and everything. But the truth is, it didn’t pass the entrance exams to become a state–in fact, it only got 14% of the answers right, and didn’t even spell its name correctly at the top of the answer sheet. But, we let it hang out with all the other states because we don’t want to hurt its feelings. So please, don’t tell Tennessee about any of this.

Here are a few more facts about Tennessee:

  • Out of 1600, Tennessee got a 3 on its SAT. It somehow swallowed its number two pencil midway through the test, the poor dope.
  • Tennessee is a musical savant, however. Sadly, it can only play the banjo, and who can listen to that shit all day?

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