Orion: A Shape In Space

Orion is one of the most easily identifiable constellations in the sky–Orion is the hunter. But what kind of hunter goes out into the woods shirtless, barefoot, wearing a miniskirt made of leaves, and wielding a stick and a boogie board? Even Ted Nugent at least wears a shirt most of the time. Clearly, he’s not bringing home an elk in that get-up. Orion isn’t so much a hunter as a dude who mixed angel dust, meth and LSD and is in the middle of a long, long lost weekend.

Here are some facts about Orion:

  • You may think that this is not a safe way to hunt, but it’s OK–Orion’s smeared safety orange paint all over his body so the other shirtless, barefoot dudes wearing miniskirts made out of leaves will see him and not wield and boogie boards at him.
  • In a landmark 1947 case, the Supreme Court found that while the Second Amendment applies to sticks, it does not apply to boogie boards, which are now strictly regulated. Most states have a 5-day waiting period before you can purchase a boogie board.
  • This fall, Discovery Channel will air the new reality show, “Boogie Board And Stick Hunters.”
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