Garret A. Hobart: Vice President To The Stars

Our first vice president, Garret A. Hobart, is responsible for many of the customs and traditions of the vice presidency. First, he was profoundly dull. Second,and more importantly, his chief duty was attending the funerals for foreign dignitaries. Many, many funerals. Thousands of funerals. Sadly, he was removed from office when it was discovered he was killing foreign dignitaries just so he could attend their funerals. Not because it was wrong, but because he became way too interesting to be vice president.

Here are some more facts about Garret A. Hobart:

  • George Washington chose him to be vice president after Hobart won a “Who’s The Most Painfully Boring Man In Ye Olde Thirteen Colonies?” competition 14 times in a row.
  • Hobart set a high level of boredom right off the bat, taking to the podium to discuss his stamp collection for three hours at Washington’s inauguration.
  • When Hobart died in 1803, he was survived by his wife, Elizabeth, and his mustache, Gregory.

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