Dallas: Fine, Another Damn City

Dallas is located in Texas or Oklahoma or something. Like we care. We really haven’t given a shit about Dallas since it turned out that that one entire season of Dallas was a dream, and that Bobby had been alive the whole time after all. Like, what the fuck is that shit? And that whole “Who shot JR?” thing–like we didn’t see that coming a mile away. Maybe if JJ Abrams rebooted Dallas, and they were all in a plane crash on an island and young Jim Kirk and Spock were there, and there was a flash-sideways in El Paso, then maybe I’d pay some damn attention to Dallas.

Here are a few more facts about Dallas.

  • We lied–there are no other facts about Dallas.
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