Honolulu: Like A City

Located in the middle of the Pacific, Honolulu is a tropical paradise, with sun, sand, and a never-ending supply of alcoholic drinks the size of your head with cute names like Sex On The Beach, Sand All Up My Genreal Ass And Cooter Region and Months Of Painful, Burning Regret.

Honolulu’s chief industry is tourism, with factories churning out millions of tourists annually. For some reason, all of these tourists always end up on your flight, drinking, carrying on, and pooping on the drink cart. Try driving to Honolulu instead. You’ll be glad you did, unless your car doesn’t float. Then you’re kind of fucked.

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