Dark Matter: Lighten Up

Ordinary matter makes up only 14% of the matter in the universe, while Snooki makes up another 3%. The other 83% of the matter in the universe is dark matter.

But what the heck is dark matter? Dark matter is matter that is unobservable: it doesn’t interact with anything, including light or electromagnetic radiation, rendering it completely invisible. By this definition, Disalmanac was dark matter all through tenth grade.

Because it’s impossible to have direct knowledge of dark matter, we have no idea what its characteristics are. Recently, scientists have theorized that dark matter spends a lot of time in its room, listening to that emo shit and writing poetry in its Moleskine about how nobody understands it–again proving that Disalmanac was dark matter in tenth grade. So now give us a damn Nobel Prize in Physics, Slappy.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s