Mesopotamia: A History Thing Or Whatever

Mesopotamia, between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, was the cradle of civilization. Why was civilization born here, and not say, in Boise, Idaho? Well, have you seen Boise, Idaho? They still don’t have civilization there. They just got fire three years ago, for Christ’s sake. Boise’s got a long, long way to go.

Once started, civilization flourished in Mesopotamia. The ancient Sumerians invented writing, the calendar (though it was a Garfield calendar; but still), and wheeled carts. Before this, carts didn’t have wheels, but were rocket-powered. Kind of a step backward, if you ask us.

Later, the Babylonians conquered the Sumerians, even though the Sumerians were armed with such weapons as calendars and wheeled carts. The Babylonian king Hammurabi instituted the first set of laws, called Hammurabi’s Code. Most of these laws involved not making fun of Hammurabi’s huge-ass nose on pain of death, but it was the first step towards the society we live in today–in fact, in most US states making fun of Hammurabi’s nose is still a capital offense.

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