Indianapolis: Sort Of A City

Indianapolis is named for its founder, H. Thaddeus Indianapolis III, who said, “I know what let’s do. Let’s build a city right in the middle of fucking nowhere. That’s a fucking great idea.” And so Indianapolis was born, because nobody in Indiana gets sarcasm.

Indianapolis is home to the annual Indianapolis 500 car race, so named because a) it’s in Indianapolis, and b) at least 500 spectators die each year when burning tires fly into the stands. Race fans come from thousands of miles away to get hit by flaming debris, and to drink their weight in watery beer.

Another interesting about Indianapolis is that there is nothing else interesting about Indianapolis.


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