World War I: A Thing That Happened

In 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir to the throne of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, was assassinated. Every major European power was shocked by the news that the Austro-Hungarians even had an empire, and within weeks World War I had started.

Germany invaded France. Russia attacked Germany. The Austro-Hungarians got confused and attacked some Greco-Roman wrestlers. England fought oral hygiene. The French surrendered to themselves. Finally, the US entered the war in 1918 and, along with help from the Greco-Roman wrestlers, defeated Germany three falls to one.

After the war, US president Woodrow Wilson started the League of Nations, a bowling league for world leaders. Its purpose was to prevent future wars, but leaders merely squabbled about ball size. Some things never change.

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