Algeria: A Nation, We Think

Located in northern Africa, Algeria’s been a country for a while now. Yet you pretty much never hear anything about it. Clearly, Algeria needs a marketing campaign.

First, Algeria needs a jazzy theme song. Something like, “Algeeeeeeeeeeria, the country of looooooooove/we have food and pants and radios/and we just got ‘Baywatch’ on caaaaaaaaable/looooooooooove!” There, isn’t that catchy? And it so perfectly encapsulates what’s so great about Algeria.

Next, Algeria needs a slogan. Something like: “Algeria: Come see our building!”  Or: “Algeria: We had nothing to do with all that crazy shit that just went down in Libya, but we’re only a short drive away!” That makes us want to go to Algeria right now!

Finally: the name. The name ‘Algeria’ has to go. It sounds too much like progeria, the tragic childhood disease that quickly ages kids. We do NOT want people associating Algeria with creepy-ass tiny elderly people. So, a new name–how about just “A!” That’s got pizzazz! But, people might associate it with anarchy and be frightened away. So the new name is: “Al!” We love it! We can license that Paul Simon song “You Can Call Me Al” and show footage of all the food, pants, and radios, not to mention that building. Brilliant! Now give us ten million dollars for rebranding you.

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