So in the 1980s, Halley’s Comet appeared for the first time in 76 years. You probably missed it because you were busy listening to Phil Collins and wearing neon colors and drinking Zima and working part-time at Pier 1 Imports and crap, but the Japanese were ready. They launched a spacecraft, Suisei, to discover what was in the icy tail of Halley’s Comet.
And what did the Japanese find in the icy tail of Halley’s Comet? Godzilla. Or Gamera. Or Mothra, maybe? Who can keep track of all the giant space monsters the Japanese have around? Anyway, Gamzillthra or whatever came back to Earth on the spacecraft and destroyed an HO scale model of Tokyo until they could lure the dude in the rubber suit into like, a volcano or something. We stopped paying attention about halfway through. And that’s why the Japanese should not be allowed in space.