Ganymede: Some Space Thing

Ganymede is one of Jupiter’s 4,000 moons, but it’s the largest–in fact, it’s larger than the planet Mercury, so, you know, whoop-de-damn-do, Ganymede. You’re still only a damn moon.

Also, Ganymede is the only moon in the solar system with a magnetosphere. Well, Ganymede, you can magneto all the crap you want, you’re still only a moon. The Earth can totally kick your ass, so watch it.

Ganymede is believed to have a thin oxygen atmosphere, but so what? The Earth’s is WAY better. And you know what the Earth has that you don’t, Ganymede? The band Blue Oyster Cult. The Earth totally wins. Go home, Ganymede, you loser.

 

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