The nose is generally located on the face, unless you lost an especially intense game of “Got Your Nose” as a child. That’s what happened to us. Uncle Ray just grabbed our nose one day, yelling “got your nose!” as he got into his car and sped off, never to be seen again. On that day, we swore vengeance, and we’ve been looking for him ever since.
A few years ago, we got word that he was hiding out in a cabin in the southern Oregon woods. We dropped everything and flew out there immediately. And we were ready–we were heavily armed, and we had a special jar to put the nose in so we could get it re-attached once we got back to civilization. We found the cabin, but we must have missed him by mere hours. The search was on again.
Eventually, we tracked him down to a trailer park in the Louisiana bayou. As we hovered over the trailer in our helicopter, Uncle Ray leaped out the bedroom window, nose in hand and guns a-blazing. We fired back, but he somehow made it down to the dock, where his speedboat was waiting. We gave chase, and he fired several Stinger missiles at us. Eventually, we lost him in the thick cover of the bayou, but we bombed the crap out of the area, just in case.
So if you’re still out there, Uncle Ray–we WILL get our nose back. oh, yes, we will.