Komodo Dragons: Nature’s Komodo Dragons

The Komodo Dragon is the largest reptile on the planet, measuring up to ten feet long and weighing as much as 150 pounds. That’s not a healthy weight for something ten feet long–5′ 7″ yes, but not ten feet. We suspect that Komodo dragons have an eating disorder. Have you ever noticed that after it ruthlessly slaughters and eats a gazelle or a person or whatever, it immediately excuses itself and hangs out in the bathroom for twenty minutes? Classic bulimic behavior.

But why do Komodo dragons have food issues? It’s probably due to all those fashion magazines targeted to Komodo dragons. All the fashion models are impossibly thin, setting a standard that your typical Komodo dragon could never possibly reach. It’s a sad, sad shame circle for Komodo dragons.

But there’s good news. If you’re ever devoured by a ferocious Komodo dragon, don’t panic–you’ll just get horked up ten minutes later and you’ll be free to go.

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