Long Beach: Another Dumb City

It ain’t nothin’ but a “G” thing in Long Beach. And as everyone knows, the “G” stands for “giraffes.” Great herds of giraffes roam the streets of Long Beach, terrorizing residents by standing around and calmly chewing on leaves from the tops of trees. Clearly, Long Beach residents are easily terrorized.

Long Beach native and anti-giraffe activist Snoop Dogg has rapped several times about this serious problem, including the hits “Cud & Juice” and “Drop It Like You’re 18 Feet Tall And Just Standing Around Chewing On A God Damn Tree.” Please help save Long Beach from this not terribly menacing menace.

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