Fire Ants: Whatever

Fire ants are a type of ant that shoots flames. Pew pew pew! How fucking bad-ass is that? As bad as asses get, Slappy.

If we were a fire ant, we’d go around and shoot flames at crap all damn day. At other bugs, at people, at houses and stuff. So cool!

Scientists should totally like, splice fire ant DNA into like, shark DNA and create a shark that shoots flames at people before it eats them! Can you imagine all the burning surfers getting chomped? Whoa. Totally awesome, right? And like, put in some bear DNA, too. Bears are scary!

We’re totally about to sell the rights to “Fire Shark Bear Ant Thing” to SyFy Channel, so don’t even think about it, Chester.


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