Arkansas: This Is A State? Really?

In 1836, Arkansas became our 25th state, while Andrew Jackson was president. And well, Andrew Jackson wasn’t the brightest bulb in the toolshed, if you catch our drift. Though why you’d keep your light bulbs in the toolshed is a mystery. Every time a light bulb burns out in the house, you’d have to run out to the toolshed to get a replacement. It’s not only extremely inconvenient, it could also be dangerous. What if there are bears out there? Or like, that dog from “Cujo?” Or what if it’s night time, and your house is being overrun by zombies? Let’s say they’re the slow zombies from “Night of the Living Dead” and not the fast zombies from “28 Days Later.” Because let’s face it, if they were the fast zombies, you’d be fucked in or out of the house.

Of course, the idea of zombies is absurd anyway. Most people these days are cremated–what are we supposed to do, just add water to the ashes and boom, instant zombie? I don’t think so. So chill out about the zombie invasion, people. It’s never gonna happen.

And that’s everything you need to know about Arkansas. You’re welcome.


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