Ancient Egypt: A Civilization Or Something

Ancient Egypt became a major civilization around 3150 BC, because really, what else were they going to do?

The ancient Egyptians developed hieroglyphics and papyrus, and so were able to invent the greatest advance of the time, the grocery list. At its peak, the great library at Alexandria housed several million grocery lists—and not just grocery lists, but maps to keggers, Starbucks orders for the entire office, and doodles of bunnies and kitties.

But the most lasting monuments to the ancient Egyptians are their colossal pyramids, which still stand today. The pyramids were huge tombs for the ancient Egyptian pharaohs, who were often laid to rest with hundreds of slaves, thousands of pets, and, in case Indiana Jones showed up 4,000 years later, a big pit full of snakes that are apparently immortal or something. Seriously, why are those snakes even still alive? That is creepy.

Anyway, today the pyramids are a tourist attraction, which is like going to a cemetery for your vacation. Have fun, Goth chicks.


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