The Left Pinkie: Ugh

Scientists still know very little about the left pinkie. Unlike the rest of the body, it seems to be made of some space-age polymer unlike anything else on Earth. Also, it’s constantly producing radiation at a rate of several rads per second.

The most common hypothesis: your left pinkie is a space alien. Or rather, your left pinkie is an alien spacecraft, with a tiny crew of aliens inside, recording everything you do and say and sending the data back to its home world, somewhere in the Alpha-60 galaxy. So if you’re doing something you don’t anyone to see, wear a glove on your left hand. Though they can still record the audio, it will at least be muffled.

And what do the aliens do with these recordings? They broadcast them across the Alpha-60 galaxy as part of the reality show, “Humans Are Fucking Idiots.” Good show.


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