Theodore Roosevelt: Some President Guy

Theodore Roosevelt was our 26th president, and the next to last one with facial hair. Why don’t presidents have facial hair anymore? Can you imagine Jimmy Carter with a big, bushy ’70s mustache? Bill Clinton with a Taft-like handlebar ‘stache? George W. Bush with one of those close-cropped frat boy goatees? Reagan with a soul patch? The first Bush with a…well, that’s moot, because he was physically unable to grow a mustache. Poor guy. Always left out of the mustache fun.

And but so also: imagine Gerald Ford with one of those pencil thin, just-above-the-lip mustaches, like the South American villain in an old ’40s film noir? I bet then he would have whipped inflation now. He still would have fallen down all the damn time, though, the klutz.

That is everything you need to know about Theodore Roosevelt.

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