Turkmenistan: Somewhat Nation-Like

They say Turkmenistan is a country, but we have our doubts. Have you ever seen a Turkmenistan restaurant? Us either. Can you name their capital city, or descibe their damn flag? Yeah. We didn’t think so, Slappy.

Here’s our theory: Turkmenistan is probably just one cranky old guy who declared that his four-acre farm is a sovereign state, and so he doesn’t have to pay taxes and all the cows have to do what he says. This is exactly what Ron Paul should do instead of running for president. Then he can smoke all the cow dope and buy all the cow hookers he wants, while isolating himself from the world. Win win!

If you know Ron Paul, can you like, STRONGLY suggest he do this? Thank you for your attention in this matter.



One comment

  1. Chris preston

    Ron Paul should be so lucky!

    Turkmenistans old president had all the white hair painted over with black hair on all public placards.

    He also has a statue in the capital, Ashgabat, that follows the sun.

    He also has a monument that reads from his ranting nonsensical book 3 times a day.

    Ron Paul should be so lucky.

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