Bahrain: Like A Nation, But Tinier

Bahrain is a tiny, tiny nation. but thanks to having approximately 500% of the world’s oil reserves, they are among the richest nations in the world.

Streets are paved with $100 bills and orphans. All the people have had their skin replaced with luxurious mink. The entire nation is covered in gold leaf. During recess, schoolchildren have caviar-ball fights.

In Bahrain, 99% of the population is obscenely wealthy, so they protest the 1% who are poor by occupying the unemployment office and 7-11. They chant, “Hey ho, hey ho, generic ramen’s got to go!”

But then the police just come and arrest the poor people (both of them), and the wealthy 99% drive home in their solid platinum Rolls Royces and enjoy a nice dinner of Rolex watches and diamond-encrusted tennis bracelets. Yum!



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