Now, your Uncle Pete, he got a turkey and cheese sandwich, with a little mustard and that iceberg lettuce. But for some reason, I ended up with tuna salad. Now, I was never a big fan of tuna salad, so I put mine away till later. And well, it was hot that day, and when I finally ate that tuna salad sandwich, well, I started throwing up almost immediately. Not just a little, either. This was full-blown projectile vomiting. And well, long story short, I vomited all over the fellas we were rebelling against, and they got all disgusted and went home to wash their uniforms.
And that’s how we won Shays’ Rebellion. Now go to sleep, because Grandpa doesn’t have any other stories.