Calvin Coolidge: Jesus, Yet Another President?

Calvin Coolidge, our thirtieth president, was known as “Silent Cal.” This is short for his original nickname, “Silent But Deadly Cal.”

You see, Coolidge had a serious gas problem. At his inauguration, he took out the entire Marine Corps Band with a single poot. He killed approximately half of Congress at his State of the Union address in 1925 with a series of noxious air biscuits. Coolidge needed real help.

Sadly, the help he got was to end his life. He saw a quack who promised a quick fix to his flatulence problem–a large, strategically placed rubber cork. Within days, Coolidge exploded with a huge blast, and that’s why they called it the Roaring Twenties.

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