Lewis and Clark: Historical Dudes

When Thomas Jefferson bought the Louisiana Purchase from the French for three million dollars and “all the escargot you can eat,” he sent Lewis & Clark west to explore it. Lewis & Clark jumped at the chance, with Lewis saying, “How long can it take to explore half a continent on foot? Like, two weeks?” Besides, it wasn’t like Lewis & Clark had a lot else to do besides play Super Mario Brothers in Clark’s mom’s basement, anyway.

So they set out from Saint Louis in 1804, after a hearty breakfast of several Egg McMuffins at McDonald’s. They also got a few to go, and they each got a large Diet Coke. This held them until they returned, in 1806. And what a day that was! It was after 11PM, so they ordered from the late night menu, getting a good deal on Big Macs and fries for under three bucks. Not bad! What an adventure! Wow! Plus, Clark was able to pick up his Super Mario game right where he left off, so: bonus.


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