St. Petersburg: Another Damn City

St. Petersburg is named, of course, after Peter Gabriel, the patron saint of sledgehammers. The sledgehammers of St. Petersburg are the world’s finest; Gallagher gets his specially-made by the Old World artisans here.

Another huge, Peter Gabriel-related industry in St. Petersburg is monkey shocking. People worldwide ship their monkeys here to shock them, by telling their monkeys that Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito are making a “Twins” sequel called “Triplets,” with Eddie Murphy. Shocking!

Sadly, there is no St. Philsburg to honor Phil Collins. Someone needs to work on that. Maybe we can get Omaha to change its name?

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