O! Oakland–home of the mighty oaks! A mighty sylvan glen on the Pacific. A majestic, twinkling arc of cyan above an emerald canopy that rustles with every one of the great forest god’s breaths fills the heart of yon weary traveler with ecstatic visions! This fertile, verdant bed of soil nourishes the mighty oaks of Oakland, their strong trunks supporting the whipporwill, the woodpecker, and the wren! Lo, has man seen such beauty as this?
Also, you can totally score crack there. Ask for Fat Mike.