Caracas: A City Out There In The World Some Damn Place

When you think of Caracas, the capital of Venezuela, what do you think of? Cafes? Moonlit walks on the promenade? Beautiful parks? Well, you’re wrong on all three counts, Slappy.

Here’s what you should think of when you think of Venezuela: Jenny Morrison, our girlfriend in 11th grade. We had good times with Jenny Morrison, like that time in Algebra when she almost made eye contact with us. Or that time between third and fourth period when we thought she was calling our name, and our heart leapt, but it turned out she was shouting out to the captain of the football team, who had the same first make as us, and everyone laughed because, come on, like Jenny Morrison would ever call us, right? So, anyway, yeah, we were an item, pretty much.

But then Jenny Morrison moved away to Fresno, which reminds us of Caracas, as it is also a city somewhere. And that’s everything you need to know about Caracas.


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