Seriously–do you ever wash those things? Do French gourmets follow you around, thinking that you’re made of delicious stinky cheese that they can use in their sauces? Do Odor-Eaters whimper in terror when they see you coming? Do people who leave your house for a breath of fresh air go directly to the nearest open sewer? And what’s that crap living between your toes? That is some disgusting shit, Slappy.
Our advice: ditch the feet. Remove them and replace them with something that doesn’t smell so bad, like, say, dead badgers. Thank you.