Lexington & Concord: Something That Happened, Probably

The Battle of Lexington & Concord, in 1775, was the first battle in the Revolutionary War. Of course, before the battle could start, King George had to cut a ceremonial ribbon with his ceremonial scissors. And then, the winner of season three of “Colonial Idol” sang the national anthem. And then the armies of all the nations marched into the stadium, and Benjamin Franklin jogged in and lit the torch. And then there was the coin toss; the British won the coin toss and for some reason, elected to kick rather than receive, which is now considered a major military blunder.

Anyway, by this time, it had started raining, so a rain delay was declared and the grounds crew rolled out enormous tarps. And then there was the sausage race, and by this time, it was getting dark so they re-scheduled the battle for sometime in 1787. And by the time 1787 rolled around, the war was already over so they just canceled the whole damn thing.

And this is why the Battle of Lexington & Concord is considered one of the greatest battles in history.

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